How a Child Abuse Survivor Broke Silence in Santa Barbara

SANTA BARBARA, Calif. – On July 28th, 1980, Anthony Rodriguez’ life changed forever.

It was the day he became the victim of abuse at the hands of his uncle in Santa Barbara.

“It started when I was 5 years old until about 16 years old. Everybody says it was all my fault … well not everybody, my abuser said it was all my fault," said Rodriguez.

Rodriguez grew silent.

After all, he was just a kid, and his abuser convinced him that if he spoke out, no one would believe him.

“You’re embarrassed, you feel disgusted, you feel scared, and you don’t want to hurt anybody. You’d rather take the pain, and that’s kind of how it was," said Rodriguez.

Rodriguez withdrew from others.

His grades went down.

His feelings of isolation became overwhelming, leading him to gangs, drugs and even attempted of suicide.

“Because he threatened me, he always threatened me, he said he would hit my aunts or he would do something to my little cousins. So I decided to take the burden on myself," said Rodriguez.

One day, someone at school noticed Rodriguez’ demeanor changed.

“And that person told a school employee and that’s how it got out. At first I was very angry but if it wasn’t for that person I don’t think I would be here," said Rodriguez.

When Rodriguez met friends at a local church with a similar experiences, he decided to break his silence.

“I told my story for the first time here at church and it made me feel good that they were free. They felt free and I felt free," said Rodriguez.

Now, Rodriguez is helping survivors with father Pedro Lopez through the Safeguard the Children Committee at Our Lady of Guadalupe Church in Santa Barbara.

“And knowing how to protect and care for children and others, not only when they gather with us, but in their homes and their neighborhoods, in the schools so they would have a greater awareness know what to look out for … and how to respond to suspected abuse or if they should witness abuse," said Father Pedro Lopez of Our Lady of Guadalupe Church.

Father Lopez wants the support of everyone to create a safe environment for the community.

“Child abuse and Neglect impacts the development of a child’s brain, their social, emotional well-being and it impacts their ability to thrive. But the good news is that early intervention and prevention can make a huge huge difference," said PIO and chief of strategy and community engagement Suzanne Grimmesey of the Santa Barbara County Department of Behavioral Wellness.

It certainly did for Rodriguez who, with the help of his church community, learned how to break his silence.

“People that abuse others don’t stop until you stop them. They won’t stop. They think it’s easy.”

For all those who are suffering, this survivor wants them to know, you are not alone.

“I believe in you … you’re worth it. It’s not your fault. It’s never your fault," said Rodriguez.

Organizations in our community that can help include: Calm, Behavior Wellness
Department of Social Services, and Our Lady of Guadalupe Church.

From the County of Santa Barbara Department of Behavioral Wellness:

As we observe Child Abuse Prevention Month this April, the Santa Barbara County Department of Behavioral Wellness joins with its partners and community in reaffirming a shared commitment: to protect the mental, emotional, and physical well-being of every child.

The trauma of abuse and neglect can have lasting impacts on a child’s development, relationships, and overall mental health. However, with early support and safe, stable environments, healing is possible—and so is prevention.

Prevention begins with connection. Each of us can make a difference by checking in on families, lending a helping hand to overwhelmed caregivers, being present for the children in our lives, and reporting concerns when something doesn’t seem right. These simple acts help build a strong safety net around our most vulnerable. 

Every member of our community can be a part of the solution—learn the signs, support local organizations working with children and families, and speak up for those who may not have a voice. Together, we can foster a culture of care, where all children are safe, valued, and have the opportunity to thrive.

The Behavioral Wellness 24/7 Crisis and Access Line can be reached by calling 888-868-1649.

Suzanne Grimmesey, MFT

PIO/Chief of Strategy and Community Engagement

Santa Barbara County Department of Behavioral Wellness