Survivors of Domestic Violence Hope to End the Cycle of Abuse

It’s been making national headlines in the past few months, football players, even police officers being accused of domestic violence.

It’s also an issue that hits home on the Central Coast.

There are numerous advocacy groups in the area hoping to put a stop to the violence.

In 2011 there was the high-profile case of a fatal shooting. Isaac Martinez, of Santa Maria is now serving 75 years behind bars for the first-degree murder of his estranged wife Maria Estrada Martinez.

For some images of domestic violence and abuse are images they only see in the media. However, for Andrea Cabrera, a Santa Maria woman taking a self-defense class, the violence was once her reality. Cabrera said it was a situation she was unable to escape from.

Cabrera said,”He (her former partner) said if you call the police I’m going to kill your daughter. “

That violence was eight years ago. “He tried to kill me, he put a knife in my throat,” Cabrera said. She said it’s a memory that’s difficult to forget.

Cabrera said she was afraid to report the violence.

Cabrera said taking a self-defense class through the Rape Crisis and Child Protection Center, is all about building confidence. The North County Rape Crisis and Child Protection center is one of many local non-profits fighting to end the violence, particularly sexual assault.

The group said self-defense isn’t just about the physical, it’s about having the knowledge to get out of a toxic relationship.

Cristina Jaquez, with the North County Rape Crisis and Child Protection Center, said, “Self-defense is about getting that help, it’s not just about fighting back, but about knowing who’s out there who to go to and what to do in these situations.”

The United States Department of Justice defines domestic violence as a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that’s used by one partner to gain control over another. It can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological.

Michelle Vargas, a Santa Maria woman who said she found the courage to get out of a toxic relationship, wants to share her experiences to put an end to domestic violence.

Vargas wears a bracelet with the Bible passage Jeremiah 29:11. That passage is a reminder of hope for a brighter future she said.

Vargas’ story of abuse came to an end after she ended up in an ambulance.

Vargas said at the time she didn’t realize her relationship was toxic. She thought the abuse she was dealing with was the norm.

Vargas said, “In my other relationships I was used to being verbally abused, and I was used to being the abuser verbally too. In a way I was just kind of used to it.”

One night a fight escalated. Vargas said alcohol was involved.

“I was bruised was bruised up,” Vargas said, “I don’t know exactly what happened as far as the physical. I just remember that choke and push type thing.”

Vargas said she needed the intervention.

The Santa Barbara County District Attorney’s office has worked with Vargas and hundreds of other victims–both men and women– through the years.

Through self-defense education and outreach, Cabrera hopes her story can change the lives of others and end the cycle of violence

Cabrera said, “We can finish this situation.They need to call the police, they need to talk.”